You see, “I love you” requires demonstration. It requires evidence. It requires substantiation. “I love you” should not be used lightly because it also implies the desire to please and express appreciation. When your love is not experienced by your spouse, you have missed an opportunity to bring fulfillment. You have broken the healthy cycle of reciprocation in your relationship- the healthy exchange of affection between people who are devoted to each other. An empty “I love you” only creates resentment and bitterness. And you may truly feel love for your spouse, but “I love you” without action is futile to the goal of contentment and joy that couples desire.
Show your wife you love her by the things that you do. Express your love to your husband through efforts to bring him joy. But in your efforts, be sure to show your love according to their needs- not what you think is best. Many times we give love in the way that we wish to receive and not in accordance to what is essential to truly touch their heart. And when your demonstration of love is met with resistance, there is obviously a disconnect between you. It could be negative emotions (anger, frustration, unforgiveness, stress) or maybe you’ve just missed the mark. Talk about it! Express your concerns and empathetically respond to their feelings.
Don’t negate your gift of love with complaints or accusations because they didn’t receive- just recognize the disconnect and work to repair. Learn to listen closely to what they say because many times they express what they need from you in what they say. Learn your spouse’s needs and make efforts to fill them daily. Make a mental note of what they like and give freely. As you do this, your “I love you” is strengthened and motivates you to engage in a perpetual cycle of giving and receiving. Your “I love you” will build friendship and your passion will become stronger.