Passive-aggressive behavior can be so frustrating to the one on the receiving end. How do you handle it in a relationship?
Passive-aggressive individuals avoid addressing their true feelings (such as hurt, fear, sadness).
Rather than saying how they truly feel- they may
- Push buttons intentionally to get a response
- Play the victim- always blaming everyone else
- Start power struggles- they always have to win the argument
- Procrastinate- always making excuses
- Make you feel bad about something they did wrong
- Give the “silent treatment”
- Withhold affection because they are upset
- Say “I was just kidding” or “it was only a joke” when you both know that is not true- it was intentionally meant to upset you
Ex: So you’re going out with friends tonight. Nothing big- just hanging out for a few hours.
You get-
“Oh, so you’re going out with your friends again… I’m OK… just go be with them…”
Instead of-
“It hurts when it feels like you are choosing them over spending time with me. I miss you… Can we spend time together soon?”
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR PARTNER IS PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE:
- Recognize the signs
- Keep your anger in check
- Don’t fall into the pattern of behavior
- Get the book “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie
- Go to therapy for additional support
