It’s when you’ve become tired and it doesn’t feel that you have the energy to stick with the process.
You start to feel exhausted and emotionally depleted
Signs-
- Things you used to do with your partner do not excite you.
- Withdrawal, irritability, frustration, nagging
- Loss of intimacy
- Loss of ability to compromise or discuss issues in a healthy way
- May become pessimistic
- Physical or emotional affair
- Leading a parallel life- no longer involved with each other
- Frequent arguments about the kids
- Boredom
- If not properly handled can slowly lead to symptoms of depression
What to do-
- Address this with your partner- maybe write it down to make sure you hit ALL of your points-
- Be CONCISE
- Don’t ramble about how you feel- you don’t want them to tune out
- Be honest about what’s going on – TELL THE TRUTH!
- Don’t sugar coat- stick to the facts, not always the emotion (some people can’t handle emotion and shut down)
- Don’t say “YOU NEVER” or “YOU ALWAYS”- they may stop listening
- Say “I feel”- take ownership and don’t blame
- If you have a complaint- bring a solution to the table as well
- Remember- you have likely said the same thing OVER and OVER again- IT DOESN’T WORK!!!
- This time, say it differently. If you’ve been nice- turn it up a notch. If you’ve been aggressive- try being nice. If you’ve been passive- SPEAK UP!
- Seek help with someone who is qualified to help
- Understand that you love your partner and you need tools to help you through this period
Burnout doesn’t necessarily mean the marriage is over, it just indicates that you need to be refreshed. Be honest with yourself and get the help you need to gain momentum.
