Do You Trust Me?

Building Trust

Have you ever told a “little white lie” or “lied by omission”?  Did you think it was OK?  Did you feel guilty?  Or just think “what they don’t know won’t hurt them”?  Some people just don’t get it.  They don’t see how their lack on honesty or inability to be truthful really impacts their partner.  They just keep making the same decisions expecting their partner to forgive.  But the reality is, their partner never forgets.  And this can build walls of resistance, disconnect emotions, and deteriorate trust over time.

Building a healthy relationship REQUIRES trust.  Without faith in your partner, the confidence that they have your back, and the belief that you can weather life’s storms together, your relationship will be unbalanced and there will be problems over time.

The Importance of Trust:

Trust holds the relationship together. It’s the feeling of security that allows you to be vulnerable, to open up your heart, and to truly connect with your partner. Without trust, a relationship can become fragile, with communication breaking down and conflicts escalating.  Think about it, if you really trusted your partner, then why are you always waiting on them to mess up, lie, cheat, or be dishonest?  And if you can’t trust them- can you fully love them?  Or are you holding back “just in case”?  Do you have the fear that “maybe they won’t hurt me again”? This is not a healthy relationship.  It’s living in a fantasy world thinking that things will magically change- but they won’t.  Things won’t change until trust is built.  And there is no time stamp on how long this might take. 

Building Trust: Strategies and Tips:

1. Consistency in Actions: Trust is established through consistent behavior. Be reliable and keep your promises, both big and small. When you say you’ll do something, follow through.
2. Open and Honest Communication: Foster trust by creating an environment where open and honest communication is encouraged. Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with your partner, and be a good listener in return.
3. Transparency: Be transparent about your intentions, expectations, and boundaries. Transparency helps eliminate misunderstandings and misconceptions.
4. Forgiveness and Repair: Inevitably, there will be moments when trust is tested. Acknowledge mistakes, take responsibility, and work together to repair any breaches in trust.
5. Respect for Boundaries: Respect each other’s boundaries and personal space. Trust thrives in an environment where both partners feel respected and safe.
6. Empathy and Understanding: Show empathy and understanding toward your partner’s feelings and experiences. This creates a strong emotional connection that reinforces trust.

Rebuilding Trust:

If trust has been damaged in your relationship, know that it’s possible to rebuild it with time, effort, and commitment. Seek support from a relationship counselor or marriage therapist if needed.

Trust is not built overnight; it’s a continuous process that requires effort from both partners. As you invest in building trust, you’re creating a solid foundation for a healthy, loving, and lasting relationship.  Just because trust isn’t broken doesn’t mean it can’t be repaired.  However, it’s possible to do so much damage that trust is irreparable.  And it this happens, love them enough to let them go…

Remember, without trust your relationship will struggle in different areas.  It could be intimacy, communication, or even friendship. You may turn against each other in times of struggle and lack the ability to make solid decisions. Your connection could also be broken, and communication will be ineffective. It’s important to recognize where broken trust may play a part in your relationship dynamic.  Talk about it.  Don’t sweep it under the rug.  Bring issues to the forefront and address them head on.  This will help strengthen what you have and give you something solid to build on.