Are You Growing Apart?

Over time, couples may find themselves growing apart. They become unhappy, but they’re not quite sure when it began.  The ebb and flow is sometimes hard to navigate.  That’s why it’s important to always pay attention to your partner- changes in their behavior or response toward you like shutting down, spending more time away, etc.  It’s good to notice these signs early so that you can readjust.  Clean the slate and start over- focus on building something new or you can enhance what you already have.  Relationships can be challenging, but it doesn’t mean you can’t work through it together…

There are several things to look for when it comes to relationships falling apart.  Here are 4 types of couples that will likely find themselves headed toward a break-up.

#1- The Indifferent Couple

  1. Becoming bored or apathetic
  2. Leads to finding other interests
  3. Example: couple sitting at the restaurant on their phones (not talking)

#2- The Disconnected Couple

  1. Isolating from one another- detached- lack of intimacy
  2. Leads to looking for new attachments
  3. Example: extramarital relationships, emotional affairs

#3- The Neglected Couple

  1. Ignoring each other
  2. Leads to giving attention elsewhere- tuning you out- feelings are not heard
  3. Example: she spends more time talking to friends than to you

#4- The Irritated Couple

  1. Becoming easily annoyed
  2. Leads to anger and frustration
  3. Example: Frequent arguments, tension

If you find yourself in one of these categories, it would probably be good to seek guidance on how to reconnect.  Talk about the issues.  Be open about how you feel. Whatever you are feeling- there is a reason behind it.  You should explore the reason and process if it’s worth trying to work out.  There is no point in being miserable in a relationship.  So if you want it to work, it’s best to get help NOW!

Don’t wait until you feel “I can’t take this %$!* anymore.”  If they don’t want to get help, it’s OK to weigh the cost.  You can’t work things out with someone who is unwilling.  Hopefully, both of you will be open to getting the help you need to get on track- self-help books, ministers, counselors- don’t wait until it’s too late!