Are You A Peace-maker or a Peace-breaker?
Most couples don’t know how to fight fair. They just want to be heard and really don’t care about what their partner has to say.
Disagreements shouldn’t become full blown arguments with tempers flaring the voices yelling across the room. There is a way to be a peacemaker instead of a peace-breaker in your relationship.
- Create a “safe space”- not a hostile environment
- If it gets too heated, take a break- 10 to 15 minutes
- Always come back to the conversation- don’t leave an disagreement open to interpretation or assumption- we all know what that means
- What you say and how you say it really does matter
- No interruptions! Let them talk
- Don’t flip the script- making them feel guilty or blaming
- Use identifiers to describe your mood- colors, numbers, key phrases
- You may have to unlearn old habits- holding grudges and unforgiveness won’t work
Keeping the peace may be hard at first, but when you practice these skills, you can create a calm environment for discussion and not a yelling match!